


Doctor, Doctor: Give Me the News

by vesuviannights



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: A lot of jokes, Extra large 3 cheese pizza, F/M, Julian can barely keep a straight face, just some general light-hearted shenanigans, made extra cheesy, nothing graphic or even too lewd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 09:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20636813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vesuviannights/pseuds/vesuviannights
Summary: In an absolute tizzy, you burst into Doctor Devorak’s office to try and figure out what has you feeling so unwell.





	Doctor, Doctor: Give Me the News

**Author's Note:**

> Written for an anon request on my Tumblr (@vesuviannights). Anon wanted some super cheesy and corny Julian/reader doctor/patient role play.

“Doctor, doctor!”

Your voice is much higher than its usually pitch, almost comically so, and so very breathless as you slam open the door to the office, clothes flying out behind you. The candles in the room flicker from the breeze, making the night’s shadows dance across the floor.

Doctor Devorak glances up from his pile of paperwork, one eyebrow crooked, an easy grin on his features.

“Ah yes, my favourite patient,” he greets you, gesturing to the seat opposite him. “What seems to be ailing you this late evening?”

You cross and lower yourself into the chair he indicated, rolling your lip worriedly between your bottom teeth.

“Well, you see—” You sigh and shake your head. “I haven’t been feeling quite myself lately.”

“Indeed, I do see,” he nods in response, leaning forward to steeple his fingertips in front of his mouth. “Have you been feeling tired?”

“No, Doctor.”

“Not feeling as excited about your day?”

“No, Doctor.”

“Is it your sleep patterns, perhaps?”

“Oh no, I get plenty of sleep.”

“Are you feeling more restless than usual?”

“Hmm, I suppose you _could _say that.”

“And how about your vitamins, are they lacking perhaps?”

“Well, I supposed you could say_ that_, too. I think I’m awfully low in vitamin D.”

At your admission, Doctor Devorak nods gravely, as though this has confirmed his deepest concerns and suspicions.

“I think, my dearest patient,” he tells you, indicating the bed. “That we must take a closer look at you.”

You follow his instructions, rising and crossing to settle on the bed against the wall, the height of it placing you at almost perfect eye level with him.

As he comes to stand before you, you let him frown, and nod, and turn your head this way and that, all the while he murmurs and makes quiet notes to himself about what he sees and feels.

After what feels like many long moments, he clasps his hands in front of himself, expression unreadable.

“I’m sorry, dear patient,” he tells you, tutting quietly.

“Oh no!” You gasp. “Is it bad?”

“I’m afraid so, you are indeed lacking in this particular vitamin. Though I’m not sure quite sure what to make of it. You say you are getting plenty of sunshine?”

You nod.

“And you are awake during the day, and not merely at night?”

You nod again.

“Then perhaps you need some pills to help your vitamin levels. I shall grab some at once!”

“Well Doctor,” you answer, voice the epitome of innocence as he turns away to his shelf. “I think the only thing that is going to _really_ fix my vitamin D levels is…your cock.”

You see his mask slip a little at your innocent words. He loses himself, just for a moment, fumbling the pill bottle in his hands before he turns back to you. His lips twitch and then disappear into his mouth, his mostly-successful attempt at cutting off his own laugh at your overly-dramatic acting.

He clears his throat and his expression quite quickly though, straightening himself up to wink at you.

“I dare say you are right, my dear patient,” he agrees.

“Oh, you really think so?”

“Of course! A bright young woman such as yourself knows her body, and it is my duty as your doctor to help you look after it.”

You bite your lip, a little bit more of a mischievous glint coming to your gaze. “So you will prescribe me some…vitamin D?”

That same mischievous glint comes to his own gaze.

“Indeed, I think some vitamin D will do you good.” His voice drops, becoming a little deeper, and a lot slyer. “I happen to have the best variety available on the market right here in this room.”

And that is what finally breaks you.

You snort, quickly ducking your head to cover your mouth. When you peek back up, you see that Julian’s lips have thinned once again in his own attempt to stifle his laughter. Really, it’s a miracle you’ve both lasted so long.

“I would be—” You pause to choke back another laugh. “I would be so happy to take your recommendation, doctor! How much would you—” Another poorly concealed laugh. “Prescribe?”

Stepping a little closer to you so that he is between your thighs, he reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear and press his lips to your forehead.

“Oh, my love,” he murmurs there, a soft growl to his voice. “I think a long night of my cock should make up for all the terribly late hours I’ve been working. Let me make you feel good.”

You hum your approval, tilting your head back to accept his kiss to your lips.

“Will you fill my vitamin D levels right back up?” You murmur against his lips.

He chuckles. “Oh ho ho, by the time I’m done with you my love, you will be at risk of hypervitaminosis D.” You pull back to quirk an unimpressed eyebrow at him. He sighs and rolls his eyes, then says with a little whine, “Dangerously excessive vitamin D levels. It was in the assigned readings!”

You snort. “You do the readings for our sex games? Nerd.”

And when he rolls his eyes and tries to turn away, you dig your fingers into his hair and yank his lips back to yours, devouring him as he stutters and stumbles and adjusts himself and eventually, melts into your kiss with a murmur of agreement.

And from there, your wonderful doctor scoops you up in his arms and carries you back home to ensure that your vitamin D levels are, indeed, within range.

##  ******

## BONUS: Overheard On the Walk Home

“Oh Doctor Devorak, won’t you please give me the news?”

“I’m afraid you have come down with a bad case of…loving me.”

“Oh no! Is it_ very_ bad?”

“I’m afraid it’s quite serious, my dearest patient. Terminal. You might never be able to shake it.”

“What can I do to make the symptoms easier on myself?”

“You can start by letting me pin you down to the bed and ravish that beautiful pussy of yours until your voice is hoarse. Then we can talk remedies for a sore throat.”

“Oh, more vitamin D?”

“More vitamin D.”


End file.
